Grief is a healthy and natural response to loss. Grief can encompass many emotions. Each person processes grief differently. Most will experience each stage of grief, but the process of grieving is not a linear one. As you grieve, you may spiral, emotions may ebb and flow. The common stages of grief are shock, denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance and hope. After miscarriage or pregnancy loss, it is important to take the time you need to grieve. As a midwife, I invite you to lean into your grief. Give yourself space to integrate each emotion. Our best allies during times of grieving are our friends and family.
It can be challenging supporting someone who is grieving and experiencing pregnancy loss because we do not know what to say or how to support a loved one. This is why our “Grief Box” can be a sweet gesture to let a friend know you support and nourish them through their grieving process.
What is A “Grief Box?”
A grief box is the perfect way to support a friend through their grief journey. It is essentially a form of support, a “care package” that gives space for support without the pressure for the grieving person to divulge their process, which can feel vulnerable and confusing. It can also be challenging and uncomfortable to support someone through there grief and find the right words to support them, especially when healing from pregnancy loss.
Grief Care Package Ideas
- A personalized note/love letter, it’s a great time to share with this person how much you care and appreciate them. Let them know you are dedicated to supporting them.
- A notebook, journaling can be an excellent practice for those experiencing grief to be able to express themselves freely.
- Art supplies, sometimes while grieving it can be therapeutic to get out of our thinking mind and into our creative mind. Try including a coloring book, sketchbook, nice pen or watercolors.
- Something to burn, fire is a source of warmth, life and protection. Think about adding a candle, one with a light scent that can also shift the grieving families mood.
- Sage bundle, sage has cleansing properties and can be used to burn and clean a space or person energetically.
- Palo Santo can be burned and is also used for inflammation, pain and stress.
- Paper lantern, a excellent way to send and celebrate a loss is sending out a paper lantern into the sky.
- Incorporate a scent for your loved one, scents can shift energy and also relax us.
- Try including a essential oil, try something uplifting like lemongrass, rose, jasmine or wild orange.
- A scented bath bomb, baths and water can be therapeutic for the nervous system when processing grief.
- Sprig of fresh herbs, local farmers markets are also great places to purchase these; rosemary, lavender or rose flowers.
- Something warm, keeping the body warm is so important post pregnancy loss.
- Artisan teas, some that support the nervous system are chamomile, skullcap, passionflower.
- Mushroom blend- we love Mudwater or Dose, blends of mushrooms nourishing to the mind and body.
- Bone broth, super nourishing whether you make your own or purchase from your local market. Bone broth will restore the body and also nourish the heart.
- Super soft socks, in many cultures it is important to keep the body warm and the feet off cold surfaces. Find the softest socks you can for your friend.
- When building a grief box for someone it’s great to start thinking how you want them to feel as the open it. We like to think they will feel warm and nourished.
- Epsom Salts can be used for either a warm bath or foot soak. If your friend has a shower they can also use the salts as a scrub and rinse with warm water.
- Food, while grieving a loss it can be hard for those experiencing grief to prioritize nourishment. So I always try to bring grieving friends a warm meal. Something they can put in the oven and warm up easily. Or even better a gift card to there favorite eatery. A snack can also be a great addition to a grief box, chocolate, honey, your favorite protein bar, beef sticks or crackers.
- A spa gift is a sweet way to support a loved one from a far, you could gift them a facial, massage, vaginal steam, cranial sacral therapy or acupuncture session.
How to send someone a grief box:
If your local, then it’s as simple as finding a gift basket and filling it with some special items. If your far from your friend, creating and sending a sympathy gift package can be a challenge. Rather than putting one together yourself, you can send a Solace Support Box. All our care packages include a personalized hand written note from you and a letter to the partner, this letter acknowledges there loss and also gives them some guidance on how to support there partner or family member.
Grieving a loss is challenging. Articulating emotions for the grieving family can be exhausting. Sending them a special grief box is a beautiful way to support and let them know you care, and open the doors for healing.
